This Is All I Have To Say
"building life lessons for your friends into your d&d games based on knowledge aquired as a sophmore psych student will only cost you friends - d&d should be fun and should not be a platform for you to psychoanalize and counsel from. being the dungeonmaster makes you the god of that world but imparts no godly knowledge or attributes in this one. i only hope that some years from now when you may be a competant phychologist thinking back on the foolish mistakes that you made while still in training that you have not driven away the people that accept you as you are and without judgement"
You are absolutely right. What a horrible mistake I have made by trying to teach someone a "life lesson" through a D&D game and as a result loosing such a rewarding friendship........... Bull Shit.
As far as the D&D game went, I was trying to make an adventure that would be fun for everybody and I did. Now let me be very candid for a moment: the game and the results of the game had nothing to with my decision to no longer sustain my friendship with Eric.
In the grand scheme of things I look back upon the six years that we were friends and determined it was not much of a friendship. The constant head games, the manipulation of facts and events, and the lies were enough for me to make my decision. With me (as well as with the rest of the people whom he has relationships with) Eric places himself and his needs above that of the other person's, constantly maintaining the mantra of "to hell with the consequences". Moreover, if someone happens to be in the way of what he wants he tries to destroy them by any means necessary so that he may achieve his goal. If the goal is unobtainable or if someone else beats him to it he broods in jealousy, continuously trying to discredit those factors that stopped him from getting what he wants. And ultimately when faced with a hard task he runs away so that he won't have to deal with it and then later attempts to go around the problem rather than fix it.
After six years of noticing these patterns it doesn't take a psychology class to tell me (or anybody else for that matter) that he acts just like a child. But not just any age of child, he acts just like a toddler. A toddler who is not mine nor is not my responsibility to teach and care for. Thus, I won't. I am happy with my decision to end my "friendship" with Eric and the only regret I have is I wish I had done it sooner.
You are absolutely right. What a horrible mistake I have made by trying to teach someone a "life lesson" through a D&D game and as a result loosing such a rewarding friendship........... Bull Shit.
As far as the D&D game went, I was trying to make an adventure that would be fun for everybody and I did. Now let me be very candid for a moment: the game and the results of the game had nothing to with my decision to no longer sustain my friendship with Eric.
In the grand scheme of things I look back upon the six years that we were friends and determined it was not much of a friendship. The constant head games, the manipulation of facts and events, and the lies were enough for me to make my decision. With me (as well as with the rest of the people whom he has relationships with) Eric places himself and his needs above that of the other person's, constantly maintaining the mantra of "to hell with the consequences". Moreover, if someone happens to be in the way of what he wants he tries to destroy them by any means necessary so that he may achieve his goal. If the goal is unobtainable or if someone else beats him to it he broods in jealousy, continuously trying to discredit those factors that stopped him from getting what he wants. And ultimately when faced with a hard task he runs away so that he won't have to deal with it and then later attempts to go around the problem rather than fix it.
After six years of noticing these patterns it doesn't take a psychology class to tell me (or anybody else for that matter) that he acts just like a child. But not just any age of child, he acts just like a toddler. A toddler who is not mine nor is not my responsibility to teach and care for. Thus, I won't. I am happy with my decision to end my "friendship" with Eric and the only regret I have is I wish I had done it sooner.
By the way whoever wrote the comment that I quoted at the top of the post, you are a horrible speller.
posted by James Loveless at 7:46 PM
10 Comments:
I find it interesting how you think you can teach someone a life lesson. From what it seems, you have been around just as long as your ex-friend has been. How do you think you are qualified to teach anyone a life lesson when you yourself have yet to live? I find it hard to believe that you have lived anywhere long enough nor had near enough 'life lessons' yourself.
From what your post says, it would seem that you had this created just to push your 'friend' into acting the way he did so you had an excuse to end the friendship. This way it would seem to be his fault only and not your own. It appears to me that you seem just as much full of it and this 'friend'. Hell, you even tell the poster you quoted that he or she is a horrid speller. However, you have made many grammatical errors with in your blog.
Perhaps you are suffering from Pot-and-Kettle syndrome. This is where the pot calls the kettle black.
I do not care if you and your friend make amends. I would suggest that you take your seemingly divinely-given psychological knowledge and exam yourself while you are examing your 'friends'.
So let me touch on the facts as I see them.
1) You had decided not to continue you friendship with Eric before the game ever started.
2) You went to Eric's home and accepted the hospitality offered to you there.
3) You authored an adventure with the express purpose of provoking the exact reaction that you got from Eric.
4) You executed your plan in front of Eric's friends and family while shielded by the rules of hospitality.
5) You then want to blame it all on Eric and call him childish.
If you don't want to be someones friendship then just stop associating with them. What you did by accepting the hospitality offered by Eric's family and then using the situation to attempt to make a point of your opinion of Eric in front of his family and other people who do not try to critique their friendships as harshly as you now do, was one of the most childishly rude displays I have ever witnessed.
Your reaction to my first comment (which was intended as a friendly caution about the dangers of psychoanalyzing your friends) with an extended and very personal attack on Eric's character only proves that your behavior could only be characterized as similar, if you subjected it to the same analyzation you used in deciding that Eric acts like a toddler.
You then ended your response by pointing out a minor typographical error with a personal comment.
I will now indulge myself by sharing a personal comment of my own. The adventure you authored was unimaginative and showed no originality. It left the castle had one battle sequence that had nothing to do with what followed, or if it did the connection was not evident. It then traveled back to the castle where a monster injured/killed a character that was not given any chance to battle for himself. You constantly ignored modifiers for dice rolls and only considered the base number. you then had to bring down a "god" to bring it all to a conclusion and used that as your "moral lesson". You flatter yourself to characterize your effort as "fun for everyone". It was disjointed and had no contiuity.
This whole second comment was childish of me, but to have my first comment used as an excuse to publicly post a personal attack on someone I still consider a friend and then to call me a horrible speller just piqued me.
If you now don't want to be my friend any more please feel free to just not assosiate with me.
your know james you pushed phillip and faith and everyone else in chapin away just like you are me. i dont think the problem lies in us any more. you only started doing this shit after you started the psych degree.
For further info please see posts on darkangelsprincess.blogspot anonymous is at it again!
cary ann has no sense of humor, she went on a rant about how we all should just grow up and when we the anonymous added humorous rebutals she erased them, and her rant. PARTY POOPER!!!
i have to give you an attaboy for having the ballsy sportsmanship to leave these comments posted and not requiring comments be approved by you before they are visible to others, and for allowing anonymous posts. (point and cheer loudly) to say that the person who changed her blogspot has no balls is redundant, but i guess the best i can say is - if you can't stand the heat then stay out of the kitchen - (followed by a loud rasberry) - PARTY POOPER!!
one last thing...
...and then I'm shutting up. I just wanted to apologize about repeating what Eric had said to James. I opened my mouth when I was angry and something stupid flew out of it. My sincerest apologies. It was very unwise of me
if noone said things in the heat of anger (some regretting it later) then we would not be having all this fun (point and jeer loudly)
Hey stephan, is it just a coincidense or did all the trouble start just after we stopped inviting cory to the games - hmmm
I don't care about coincidences of the past/current troubles. I am going to leave the dispute between the ONLY two people who have any right to argue: Eric Ecenbarger and James Loveless. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, has the right to interfere between the conflict between two people unless they are involved. Hmm, seems that everyone who saw the "fight" thinks that they are somewhat involved and that they must put their pseudo-intelligent thoughts into the matter. DROP IT EVERYONE. If Eric and James want to make ammends, let them. Spouting insults to each other isn't going to help repair or maintain the separation. I have not said my opinion and won't. It isn't my place to get involved with something that doesn't concern me.
Oh, and for those of you who are too timid to write your name after a post. Grow some balls.
-Stefan
JAMES LOVELESS IS THE MAN BOW BEFORE HIS GREATNESS. FRIENDS COME AND GO. ARGUING OVER MALE FRIENDS JUST MEANS YOU HAVE AN UNCONSCIOUS NEED TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH THEM. WITH THAT SAID USE PROTECTION AND LUBE. (LQTM)
NOY BUSINESS
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